Want and Need
by Only-eyes-for-Riddick
Summary: Sometimes what you want is not what you need and what you need is something you never expected. A lesson Hawkeye never really understood until he met a young nurse that was the complete opposite of his type.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own M*A*S*H.**

New nurses.

Probably the only thing entertaining that ever happened at the 4077th was when the nursing staff was rotated out.

Of course, Hawkeye only noticed the blondes. Brunettes and redheads were nice too, but there was just something about blondes with blue eyes that got him.

So when the jeep rolled in with 4 new nurses in it, Hawkeye focused on the 2 blondes in the group, barely registering the other two, one redhead and one brunette.

He didn't get a chance to approach them though before he heard Radar's voice ringing out across the compound.

"Incoming Wounded!"

Pandemonium. Chaos. A flurry of activity leading to just one thing, hours upon hours standing in blood.

Hawkeye hated it.

Frank wasn't much help either. The man, who called himself a surgeon, made several mistakes and constantly caused trouble for others in the operating room. Hawkeye wished they could get rid of him, but he was another set of hands in the room so they had no choice but to keep him.

Hawkeye worked feverishly as patient after patient was moved through the room. Finally they had the less dire cases to work on and the pace started to slow, the sign that they were getting close to the end of a session.

"Captain Pierce."

Hawkeye looked up into the blue eyes of Major "Hot Lips" Hoolihan. Although her face and hair were mostly covered, Hawkeye knew the exact shad of blonde her hair was. She was an attractive woman and definably his type, but she had an interest in Frank Burns that was almost unnatural. He didn't get it himself.

"This is Lieutenant Karen Walters. Lt. Walters, this is Captain Pierce, Head Surgeon."

Hawkeye turned his attention to the shorter woman standing next to the Major. He had been too busy to notice her before.

The girl looked up and Hawkeye felt his heart do a double-jump.

Bright green eyes shone out from between the white of the uniform she wore. He had looked into many a nurse's eyes before, some over the operating table and some in the darkness of the supply tent or wherever a moment of privacy could be found, and never had a set of eyes affected him like Lt. Walters' had.

"It's nice to meet you Dr. Pierce," she said. Her voice was calming, like a rainbow after a rain storm. "Shall I assist you?"

It was then that Hawkeye realized that he was still working on a patient. He looked back down at the patient and then at Karen. "Yes," he said, his voice stronger despite the tornado swirling inside him, "some suction."

She nodded and went to work assisting him.

They worked together for the next couple of hours. Despite everything, Hawkeye couldn't bring himself to joke with her as he did with the other nurses. He knew she wasn't one of the new blondes, as they both had blue eyes, so she was either the redhead or the brunette.

He almost wanted to ask her, but didn't want to give her a bad first impression of him. Instead he focused on the task at hand and tried his best not to let the attractive pair of eyes distract him. It was harder than it looked.

When there were finally no more patients, Hawkeye removed his mask and turned to his nurse. She had removed her mask as well. A round face, a petite nose and full lips. She looked young, younger than many of the other women here at least. A red flag went up in Hawkeye's mind that she was too young for him.

Before she could remove her hat and finally end Hawkeye's curiosity of her hair color, Margaret walked in and started assigning tasks to the nurses, including Lt. Walters. She moved away from him to get to work on her tasks. Hawkeye took a deep breath before leaving the OR.

He was tired, hungry and wanted nothing more than to fall into his bed after a hot shower. However, he also wanted to know more about Karen Walters, actually get to know things about her. Usually he just looked for something quick and simple, something to distract both parties from the war and the death it brought, but now...

He took a quick shower before meeting up with BJ at the Swamp. Together the two men started out across the compound towards the mess tent. Hawkeye kept his eyes peeled for the new nurses, specifically one new nurse.

"You okay Hawk? You seem distracted."

Hawkeye blinked and looked at his closest friend. He hadn't even realized that BJ had been talking to him.

"There's no problem," he said quickly. Too quickly based on BJ's look of interest. He knew that Hawkeye was hiding something, he just didn't know what it was.

They entered the mess tent and BJ watched as Hawkeye scanned the room.

"If you're looking for those new blonde nurses," BJ said with a smile as he took a tray, "I wouldn't waste your time. According to Margaret, both of them are engaged to men in the Navy who wouldn't take kindly to them being unfaithful."

Hawkeye shrugged, not wanting to let BJ know what he was really doing. For some reason it felt weird looking for the woman without knowing anything about her other than her eye color.

They got their food, or what passed for food anyways, and took a seat. Hawkeye continued to look around the room.

He saw three of the new nurses sitting with the other off-duty nurses. The two blondes and the redhead. The brunette was missing.

Once he saw her face, Hawkeye realized that the brunette was the one who had assisted him today. She was the one who had caused all these feelings to well up inside of him. She was the farthest thing from his type and she was suddenly the one he wanted.

"The redhead is recently married," BJ said with a smirk. "I would stay away."

Hawkeye looked at his friend with a smile. Let BJ think what he wanted, Hawkeye suddenly found himself unable to think about anyone but brunette Karen Walters and her fascinating green eyes.

"What about the brunette?" Hawkeye asked with a smirk. "You seem to know everything about these new nurses that have only been here a few hours."

BJ's smile went away. "Don't think about her Hawkeye," he said firmly. "She's only 20."

Hawkeye blinked in surprise. He had known from her face that she was young, but he hadn't realized that she was that young.

"Is that even possible?"

BJ shrugged. "I didn't believe it either, but when I asked her she said that it was. She turned 20 a week before she was assigned here."

Hawkeye couldn't believe it. She had to be some sort of genius to be a nurse at her age. It was amazing.

Then the door opened and he saw her, Karen Walters. He would know that face anywhere.

Her long brown hair was up in a ponytail as she maneuvered her way through the line. He watched, waiting for her to join the other nurses, except she didn't.

Instead she walked past him and BJ and sat at the empty table next to them, opened a book she had carried in with her and proceeded to read as she ate.

It was a medical textbook, she was studying.

Hawkeye looked at her for a moment before turning back to BJ. "Not my type anyways," he said with a fake smile. "I'm into blondes you know."

BJ shrugged and went back to eating, never noticing Hawkeye's gaze frequently shifting to the young brunette at the next table.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own M*A*S*H. This chapter turned out longer than I expected. Please enjoy.**

Karen hated other nurses.

Mindless chit-chat and gossip. Neither of which she had any care for. She had no time for all that if she wanted to become a doctor in the future. Her parents would settle for nothing less than perfection.

She read as she ate, barely tasting the disgusting food. Although it was an older textbook, Karen immersed herself in it. She could learn all the techniques from this one book and then she could update herself on new procedures when she got back home. That would put her ahead of her classmates since she left to come to Korea.

It had been the right move, even if it did put her slightly behind in her studies. She wanted to help people as much as she wanted her parents' respect and admiration. This was a win-win in her book.

She checked her watch and realized that she was on post-OP duty in ten minutes. She finished her food and carried her tray out of the mess tent, book tucked firmly under her arm.

It was at this time that she felt the eyes on her.

She quickly swept her eyes over to the nurses table, sure that the 3 women she came in with were gossiping about her and drawing the attention to her. However, the eyes on her were not coming from the nurses. She looked around the room quickly, but didn't notice anyone's eyes on her at this time, despite the fact she could still feel them.

She shook her head. She must be tired from the trip and the hustle of the OR when she arrived. She resolved to take a coffee break during her shift to help her wake up later. She placed her empty tray with the others waiting to be cleaned and walked away from the mess tent, still feeling those eyes on her.

* * *

Hawkeye was glad that she hadn't noticed him staring. He didn't want her to know about this sudden growing attraction to her.

She was too young for him and much too serious. She didn't sit with the other nurses and interact with them, instead choosing to sit alone and read an outdated textbook.

He had seen that book when she walked by, recognized it as one they stopped using when he was in medical school. She wasn't going to learn anything from that book.

He took a deep breath and turned his full attention back to BJ, who was still going on about something Peg had written about Erin in her last letter. For a moment, and not for the first time, Hawkeye felt a moment of jealousy for his friend.

He liked the bachelor life, but hearing about the happiness BJ had with his wife and daughter made him wish for the same thing. Not that he would ever admit it.

He already knew that he wasn't cut out for marriage or children. They were just dreams that would never become reality, and he was fine with that.

He stood, cutting BJ off with the reminder that he had Post-OP duty, despite how tired he was. He grabbed a cup of coffee to take with him and started off towards Post-OP, leaving his buddy behind to finish his meal.

Hawkeye pushed BJ's happy life out of his mind and found that his thoughts went back to Karen.

Reading such an outdated textbook would do nothing but deter her in the future. Before he knew it, he redirected course and went to the Swamp. He pulled out his truck and dug down to the bottom to find a medical book he kept there in case of emergencies.

It was a few years old now, but it was closer to what was being done today then what Karen was currently reading. He planned to give it to her after Post-OP duty and carried it with his coffee to Post-OP.

He opened the door and walked in, only to find Karen being filled in by the nurse going off duty.

For a moment he hoped that they were just talking about idle gossip and not work related items. Then he watched as Karen nodded and the other nurse left.

Potter wasted no time catching Hawkeye and quickly updating him on the entire Post-OP and making sure he was ready to get to work. Hawkeye watched as Potter left and he was left alone with Karen in the small Post-OP.

He looked down at the book in his hand and shook his head. What was wrong with him? He is Hawkeye Pierce. He wasn't attracted to brunettes with green eyes. He was attracted to blondes with blue eyes. And yet...

He glanced at Karen as she went about checking the wraps on one of the patients. For some reason he was attracted to this brunette.

He set the book down and went to work, deciding to focus on the patients. He would sort out his strange feelings later. There were more important things to do right now.

* * *

Karen smiled at the man in the cot. He was telling her all about his parents back home and how he couldn't wait to get back and see them. She finished changing his bandage as he spoke.

"I'm sure that they are proud of you," she said as she finished. "I know that they can't wait for you to get home either."

"What about you?"

Karen hadn't been expecting him to ask. She should have, but she didn't. She wasn't very good with small talk.

"My parents are waiting for me to come home too."

"Anyone special waiting for you?"

Karen blinked. Special? No. There was no one. Every man her parents had introduced her to weren't interested in her but rather her GPA and how she could help them pass the next test. Once or twice she had fallen for it in high school, but once the test was over they disappeared from her life. She learned her lesson well.

"No, just my parents waiting for me. How about you?"

The soldier shook his head. "Nope, still looking. But maybe you and I could..." He reached over and placed his hand over her's and Karen instantly jumped up.

"Oh! I have to tend to the other patients now," she said smiling. "You just rest now."

The man seemed confused and just nodded before relaxing back onto the cot. Karen turned and moved away from him and to the man in the cot farthest from the one she had just been talking to.

She went to work checking that he didn't need any bandages changed or that the IV was still where it needed to be. She focused on the job to forget what had just happened.

"You know..." she looked up into the blue eyes of Captain Pierce. She had been to busy in OR to notice but now that he was right in front of her she couldn't help but admit he was a very handsome man.

Dark black hair, deep voice and bright blue eyes that sent shivers down her spine. Just him looking at her made her entire body warm.

"You might have hurt his feelings."

Instantly the warm feeling turned hot as anger flooded Karen's veins. She looked back down at the patient, who was still asleep. "He shouldn't be making passes at nurses when he had a fiance back home."

She glanced up at Hawkeye and found he had an eyebrow raised. It didn't help that it just made him more attractive. "How did you know that?"

She looked up at him completely. "Lt. Jacobson from before warned me about him. She said that he's been hitting on every nurse since he woke up yesterday, but before going into surgery he was talking about his fiance back home and wondering how she would handle it if he passed. Now that he's better he doesn't see it that way."

Hawkeye nodded and then smiled at her. Karen felt like she had been knocked back. That smile was so kind and just made her heart thump harder in her chest.

"Well, I guess his feelings aren't too hurt then." He held out his hand. "I know we only met briefly in OR, but I'm Hawkeye."

"Karen," she replied as she took his hand in hers.

Fireworks went off at his touch. Flames filled her veins and her pulse quickened even more. What the hell was going on with her?

She prayed that she wasn't blushing when she let go of Hawkeye's hand. This was silly. He was attractive of course, but she wasn't in Korea to meet a man. She smiled at him and gestured to the patient. "We should get back to work."

Hawkeye looked down at the patient and then back at her, as if he had forgotten where they were. She was sure that wasn't so, based on his skills in the OR she had witnessed. He seemed like the type to take his job seriously.

"Yeah," he said. He looked like he wanted to say something more but instead he stood and moved to make his own rounds.

As soon as he moved out of her sight Karen felt her body relax. She didn't know why she was feeling so tense, but for some reason Hawkeye made her feel that way.

It would be best to ignore it.

* * *

Hawkeye couldn't ignore it.

He had held out his hand to introduce himself knowing that she would take it. Then when she did, his whole world shattered and all that kept him grounded was that hand in his. He had even forgotten where he was at the moment.

He knew that this was stupid. She was very pretty, but she wasn't his type.

It was just because she was new. Once he flirted with those 2 new blonde nurses he would be back to normal. This was just because she was a novelty, nothing more than that.

Despite that, he couldn't help sneaking peeks at her all through their shift together.

Then, a new nurse came in to relieve Karen from Post-OP duty. He waited until Karen had finished going over the things with the blonde nurse, one of the new ones, before he approached her with the book.

She was walking outside when he touched her shoulder, drawing her attention back to him.

Even that touch caused his brain to malfunction again. He kept his cool and handed her the textbook.

"I noticed you were reading during lunch and that the book you had was outdated. This one is outdated as well, but it's more up to date than the one you were currently reading."

Karen looked at the book he had handed her with wide eyes before looking back up at him.

"You don't think it's weird for a woman to study medicine?"

He didn't know why this question meant so much to her, but he could tell that it did. Someone must have told her that it was wrong or weird for her to learn in the past.

"No, why would I?"

Then she smiled and the world seemed to become brighter. His chest tightened and he felt warmth fill him. He had made her smile and he allowed himself to feel good about that.

"My parents thought it was a strange choice, thinking I would instead go into teaching like my mother had. I wanted to help in another way." She looked back down at the book and then back at him. "Thanks for the book. I'll return it when I'm done."

She turned and walked away before he could say anything else.

Not that he knew what he would say. That girl had thrown him for a loop and knocked him on his head. He turned back to the Post-OP with a sigh.

The war must be getting to him, making him feel attracted to a young brunette with bright green eyes. That had to be it.

He looked at the blonde nurse looking over the patient chart across the Post-OP and started to her. He just needed to get himself a pretty blonde to forget all about his temporary insanity.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own M*A*S*H. Sorry about the wait. Getting married in less than 6 months and starting to freak out!**

Karen didn't know what to think about Dr. Pierce.

When she first met him he had seemed serious about his work and his reason for being in Korea. However, now she looked at him from across the Mess Tent turned cinema, leaning into one of the engaged blonde women she had arrived with, she couldn't help but feel like she had been tricked by his smile.

She shook her head and turned back to the movie, although she had no clue what was going on as she was continuously distracted by Dr. Pierce.

What was his deal? Was he just a playboy doctor?

It annoyed Karen that she was so focused on this.

Then the movie was over and everyone was getting up to leave. Karen took a moment to watch Dr. Pierce and the blonde walk out together, his arm around her shoulder.

Although it had been 2 weeks since she had come to this M*A*S*H unit, Karen had learned a lot. The most important thing was, don't take anything Hawkeye Pierce says as serious, unless it is about medicine.

Apparently he was known for being a notorious flirt, with an appetite for blue-eyed blondes. For some reason that bothered Karen, but she didn't want to focus on it.

She returned to her tent and continued to read the textbook Dr. Pierce had loaned her. It was fascinating what one could learn from books, but Karen knew that firsthand knowledge would be the best way to learn. Since she wasn't able to do that right now, she knew the best way would be to work with one of the doctors during OR and to create a friendship with them to allow opportunities to pick his brain.

She thought it over taking each of the doctors into consideration.

Frank Burns was out. He was terrible. From the small amount of time she spent with him in OR and Post-OP she could tell that he didn't know much about medicine or anything really.

Colonel Potter was out as well. Not because of his medical skills, cause he was actually quite good, but she knew that he was way too busy running the unit to take time to study with her. She wouldn't take him away from his duties for such a selfish reason.

That left her either Dr. Pierce or Dr. Hunnicutt.

Her body seemed to want to pull her to Pierce over Hunnicutt, although she could find no reason for that. Both were very capable doctors and both had the extra time to spare. For some reason she felt that Pierce would be better than Hunnicutt.

She resolved herself to stay away from him and decided to ask Dr. Hunnicutt instead.

The next morning she went to breakfast and wasted no time approaching the two doctors in the Mess Tent.

Dr. Pierce was just as handsome as ever, but Karen shook that thought out of her head. That wasn't what she was here for.

"May I join you?"

Both men looked up and Karen suddenly felt shy. She hadn't realized just how blue Dr. Pierce's eyes were until she looked at them like this. After that first night she had tried to keep from looking in his eyes, but when he stared at her like this, she couldn't help herself.

"Of course!" Dr. Hunnicutt answered. Karen was able to grace them with a small smile before taking a seat next to Dr. Hunnicutt, mindfully keeping the table between her and Dr. Pierce.

"How are your studies coming?"

This question came from Dr. Pierce and Karen couldn't help looking up at him when he spoke. She knew as she did it that she shouldn't, but she was unable to stop herself.

Those blue eyes seemed to shine out brighter as a contrast of his dark hair. She had a mental picture of her hands in that hair and had to flex her hands to remove the feeling there. She didn't know what his hair felt like and she didn't want to be involved with Dr. Pierce.

"It is going well," she replied. "Although a tutor would be more helpful so I can have hands on training." She took a deep breath. "That's actually why I came over, I wanted to ask..."

"Of course I'll help you."

Karen's wide eyes were fixed on Dr. Pierce. He had just thrown her whole plan out the window. It would be rude to refuse and yet she knew that it wouldn't be wise to spend more time in his company.

Hawkeye could feel BJ's eyes on him, but he didn't care. His entire being was focused on Karen. Staying away had done nothing to stop these feelings of desire he felt for her. When he was with Nancy, the blonde, he was constantly thinking about Karen. Those bright and intelligent eyes, that soft and caring voice, her smile. That same smile that had been haunting him since that first Post-OP session they had worked together.

He wanted to see it again.

Karen blinked, as if confused, but she nodded before softly replying. "Thank you Dr. Pierce."

"You don't have to be so formal with us," Hawkeye said. "Call me Hawkeye."

Karen seemed nervous, although Hawkeye didn't know why. "I would prefer Dr. Pierce. You did earn the title after all."

Hawkeye wanted her to feel comfortable with him, he didn't want there to be boundaries between them, but at the same time knowing that such things were needed to protect her from him.

He hadn't expected to actually answer her request for a tutor, but he couldn't stand the idea of BJ doing it, or any other man. It had to be him, even if it was a terrible idea.

"We may be doctors, but here we do nothing but stitch people back together just for them to get blown apart again. Formality goes out the window in such a situation."

Karen knew that he was serious about this. Knew that he really believed it. "I know."

BJ jumped in trying to break though the tension between them. "How about you keep it formal when working and casual when we aren't?"

Karen turned to BJ and smiled softly. "That's a great idea. Thanks...BJ." She turned back to Hawkeye still with that soft smile that seemed to stop Hawkeye's heart. "Thank you for being my tutor, Hawkeye."

She looked at her watch before jumping up. "Oh dear, I almost forgot about a meeting with Major Houlihan. I'm terribly sorry, but I have to go. I'll get with you later about the tutoring Dr. Pierce."

As she rushed out of the Mess Tent, Hawkeye couldn't stop himself from watching her leave. When he turned back he found that BJ was staring at him. "What?"

BJ raised his eyebrows. "Don't even think about it."

Hawkeye tried to look surprised. "What are you talking about? She just needs some help studying. It's nothing more than that."

BJ gave Hawkeye a look indicating that he didn't buy a word of it. He opened his mouth to say something else and Hawkeye couldn't hear it.

"So, what is new at home?"

BJ seemed taken aback by the sudden question. "Don't distract me Hawkeye. That girl is too young to be involved with you. You know that."

Hawkeye ignored BJ and lifted his food to his nose and pulled back in disgust. "What does this smell like?" He held it out to BJ. "Thoughts?"

BJ leaned back and kept his gaze firm. "I'm serious Hawkeye. Unless you want something serious, don't get involved with her."

Hawkeye shrugged. "As I said, she isn't my type. Besides," he gestured across the room, "I'm seeing someone more my speed anyways."

BJ shook his head before standing. "Don't do anything stupid," he said before heading out of the Mess Tent to Post-OP duty.

Hawkeye waited until his friend left before he let out a big sigh. BJ was right. Getting involved with Karen would be the wrong move. He knew that. She needed a serious man in a serious relationship. He was not the type of man to provide that to her.

He knew that and yet he didn't want to stay away.

The best thing to do would be to hand off her tutoring to BJ and stay away, but the very thought filled him with anger and he couldn't do it.

He would not act on these urges. He would just be her friend.

That was all a man like him could offer her.


End file.
